I'm uncomfortable that I've been comfortable for so long

Upon hearing of George Floyd's murder, I was enraged, devastated, and awakened. Systemic racism became evident. It was no longer the isolated events I stupidly believed it to be. Before Floyd, I knew something was wrong. I listened to 74 Seconds and Into the Dark's investigation into the Curtis Flowers case. It was upsetting. Ahmaud Arbery. Breonna Taylor. So. Many. More. But the glass shattered for me with Floyd. Finally, I could see the real world we live in.

This falsified, celebrated country with a history carefully curated to continue to elevate the achievements of old, white men. To gloss over the messy parts and to only show us on the right side of history.

I loved history in school. Loved learning about the past and imagined myself living in a time like  when there were slaves, I would go from the North to help people escape from slavery. Or Hitler held his reign. How if I were alive during that time I would help hide people and stand up for those Nazis sought to kill. Our when segregation existed... I would be there to tell people how ridiculous they are behaving because we're all human beings and we are equal.

And now. Here I am. In 2020. We are actually in all three of those historical situations in one, single country. We are living in history right now. We are reliving it. This time and the change that will come, will be the most important moment in our country's story,

 It's true and crushing to me that as I near 40, I had not heard of Juneteenth until a couple weeks ago. The president claims he made Juneteenth famous. But it's not because of the president. It's because of George Floyd. It's because of his murder I started questioning all that I know.  I started following people on social media, following hashtags, and unlearning the narrative I grew up believing.

I'm sorry that it took this long. I'm sorry it hasn't been enough. I'm sorry I've been complacent and complicit. I'm sorry that I honestly believed everything was fine and dandy all thanks to MLK. This historical moment will rewrite our history books and tear down the systemic racism and reboot our country and our people to be the good country we always believed we were.

 

Black lives matter.